i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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