Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize