did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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