Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize