There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize