What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize