I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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