she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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