Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize