So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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