Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize