Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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