and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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