i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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