And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
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There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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