I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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