i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize