Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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