The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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