overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize