Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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