Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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