and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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