UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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