I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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