Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize