I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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