ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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