Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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