so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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