I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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