im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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