If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize