I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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