A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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