Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
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Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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my liver is dry heaving
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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