There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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