i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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