Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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