So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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