he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize