i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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