4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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