If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize