So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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