Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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