you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have post one night stand depression
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