My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think people are normalizing furries
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize