I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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