Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize